How I came to be "Sir Madam!"

Its been barely 5 months since I joined a manufacturing company at the Management level, and with it came an unusual title - Sir Madam. Let me explain the genesis of "Sir Madam".

I first came across this term when I beckoned a technical designer, and the first words out of his mouth came - Yes Sir!, quickly correcting to Madam... thus out of the blue, I was being called "Sir Madam".

Of course I had mildly dismissed it as a one-of-thing, terming it as a slip of the tongue. But within the coming weeks I came across this salutation term half a dozen times by those who get startled whenever I refer to them in public. My conclusion thus far is that clearly they aren't used to having a woman "Boss" around, never mind the fact that I am not their immediate Boss, but Boss's daughter-in-law who may eventually take over the reins, but not anytime soon.

Don't take me wrong, I am not complaining, instead I am quite amused whenever I hear this term and laugh it off, embarrassing the person who just addressed me.

In fact, I'd like to take it further and ask them why they just called me that. Perhaps then one of the answers would be - Sorry Sir! (oops!) Madam. A proof of the male dominant work culture legacy.

Another version of the answer could be - "No Madam, we didnt know it was you." To that I would say - "But you just heard me calling you, and does it mean my voice is not feminine?" Leaving them all the more confused groping for an appropriate answer.

Or, another honest answer could be - "Umm... we are used to calling Sir" Ah! now thats more convincing and appropriate.

While I'm at it, let me share another peeve - the word Madam itself. I would prefer everyone calling me by my first name itself, as I am used to it, thanks to my previous work culture. I tried convincing others to do so but in vain. Maybe they don't see me as "one among them". So I let it be and reluctantly accepted the "Madam" culture, and constantly being reminded of the school days when we would call the teacher like so.

However what irritates me is when my seniors or peers also address me as MADAM (mostly pronounced as MEDAM), and so my agony to convince them otherwise continues. I'd rather have them call me "Ma'am" instead of "Madam", it sounds much more sophisticated and non-school like.

I only feel better thinking that I am not in North India, where I would've probably been addressed as "Sirji Madam" or "Sirji Madamji". For now I have resigned to this 'system' and realised not to try and beat the system, but to join in and enjoy being known as The Madam.... atleast till the time comes when more women are absorbed in the Middle Management , especially in the traditionally male held positions in industries like manufacturing sector.

Note: On the above post, a friend of mine remarked , "Oh, sounds like you are getting the reins of power!" I replied, "On the contrary, it (blog) only reflects the unfamiliarity of having a woman as a boss and that means so much more challenging task for me to change their mindset."

The Idea of India? We are a soft target

What is the Idea of India? Are we to be proud of the fact that we are a nation that rises like a Pheonix from the ashes everytime? The Ashes consist of the tag of 'The Third World Nation', the Western world's image of India as a land of snake-charmer, ashes of its ghost of India's poor record of Human Rights (killings of Christians in Orissa), the ashes of economic crisis (Hawala scam), the ashes of several scams (stamp paper, Bofors, petrol pump, National Highway), ashes of wars with our neighbours (Kargil, 1971, 1962, etc), ashes of terror attacks (Sikh terrorism and ongoing terror strikes from Kashmir trained militants); the list can go on.

The complete interpretation would be - we rise like a Pheonix alright, but we rise only to become more and more soft. What do we learn each time we rise? Do we learn anything at all as a country that has faced 4,100 terror attacks since 1970 till date.

Perhaps lessons learnt are forgotten very soon. We learnt nothing after the serial blasts in Mumbai on 1993, this year we have witnessed serial blasts in Gujarat, Bangalore, and Assam. Did we learn anything from Kargil? No, instead we have scaled down the troops across our borders which has led to an increase in terrorist movement across borders.

Our foreign policies, defence policies and internal policing defies the logic of a Resilient Nation. Our policies are not only soft but also ineffective. We cant stand up against an enemy like Pakistan or China, both countries that have engaged us in War.

the world's opinion is that India is rising, but the way the World leaders deal with us shows that they too are aware of our softness. We are not viewed to be strong like China or strong like Iran in terms of Military force. Neither are we seen to be as impactful in the economic field as other members in the BRIC category.

We will continue to be a target as long as we continue to be soft on our enemies within and outside. The idea of a nation is yet to be defined by us Indians when we are still divided over Hindu Terrorist or Muslim Terrorist, divided over Caste based reservations, divided over issues like hiking pay to our soldiers, divied over simple issues like do we implement Helmet rule in a city.... with such attitude of unwilling action we are bound to be burnt again and again and turn to ashes. Only hope is that we know we shall rise once again as the Pheonix coz thankfully we havent forgotten how to Rise up again and again.

I only wonder how long we can do that?