When Ram Gopal Verma Gave Me Company

It was in a restaurant (KFC to be precise) when I sat down alone to bite into my juicy burger, that I felt an urge to drop in to see what RGV was upto. Ram Gopal Verma’s blog has been much talked about by my husband. Now that I had an hour to kill before a movie, I was tempted to check out the scrumptious blog http://rgvzoomin.com/


It was delectable, juicy and stimulating just like my Burger oozing out cheese. I had never been introduced to Ram Gopal Varma as someone who had a nonchalant approach towards life or someone who possessed quite an ‘in-your-face’ kind of wit that tries to grabs you by your balls when you try to grab RGV’s balls!

So far none of the TV interviews ever portrayed the guy as any of the above, which goes on to show what a lousy bunch of Bollywood reporters we have. So it pleasantly surprised me when I began knowing RGV through his ‘honest’ writings.
Essentially he comes across as an ordinary human being who could sometimes don the cap of a visionary director.

RGV’s blog is peppered with real-life experiences which at times choke you, they also reflect his ‘Bindaas’ attitude towards life.

Like, I never knew what a huge impact Michael Jackson had on RGV. “I hate Michael Jackson” was a touching tribute to MJ by Ramu.

Another post titled “Biggest thrill of my life” captures Ramu’s years as a vagabond hanging around a movie theatre absorbing cinema. This post was not only endearing but also heart warming as it shows RGV as any regular college going dude who loved movies and didn’t have enough moolah to buy tickets, so he would hang around to sniff cinema in any form available.

This struck a chord with me as I know a college mate who had a similar passion. This guy has watched Rangeela over 80 times in the movie halls and maybe 24 times or more at home on VHS and VCD. The theater manager took a liking for my friend who would watch 3 shows back to back daily when he had enough moolah. On other days the theater manager would let him watch for free. His passion for movies continued beyond Rangeela as he now owns a huge collection of DVDs and VCDs (all legal) and has run out of space for additional DVDs in his wardrobe. Its a different thing that my friend didnt turn out to be a movie director, but he sure did get to shake hands with Ramu.

RGV’s blog makes one realize how real his experiences are. Whether he sculpts a story with a camera or words he always has an interesting story to tell.

Getting back to RGV’s ball-biting humour which some may find offensive or rude, here’s some sample:

1. What is the worst gift that you have ever received?”
RGV: “An unlimited budget for Aag.”

2. Fuck you and fuck your limited brains.
RGV: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!......... (In case you didn’t realize that’s me having an orgasm)

3. What will RGV’s epitaph say?
RGV: Somewhere between “Not a very nice guy” and “Not a very bad guy”

4. Can you tell us the three biggest mistakes you made w.r.t your films?
RGV: Shiva, Satya and Rangeela because they have created a benchmark and all the time I get bashed up for not living up to them. Boo hoo hoo!

And finally when asked to describe himself, RGV replies:

I am like a hardcore porn dvd. You might hate it, love it, look down upon it or get disgusted by it but if it is in the room you can’t resist watching it.
Apart from this I am also quite a nice guy though no one agrees with me on this.

Ramu, I agree you are quite a nice guy and I love reading your blog not for inspiration or tips on life, but just because it is not pretentious or preachy unlike other movie stars who are blogging.

In fact you will not find any bibliography of his work or a section dedicated to awards or accolades, Ramu’s blog just gives you a bare minimum emotional window.

Ah, and if you are an aspiring movie maker you may also find some of the tips given by Ramu on his blog interesting such as camera movements and cinematography tips which can enrich scenes.

For me Ramu’s blog is one helluva cool site which I enjoy reading for kicks!
Way to go Ramu!

Archie to Get Married!

Come August, our lovable 65-year old freckle-faced Archie will give up his bachelorhood and settle for either Betty or Veronica. The official website of Archie Comics mentions that issue no. 600 will be titled – “Archie Gets Married: Part 1” and will be on sale on 19 August 2009.

The official blog says –
“What would lead Archie to have marriage on his mind? And who would he choose Veronica or Betty? How will Betty react? How will Veronica react? Can Archie shake off his klutzy past and hold down a steady job... for more than a month? One thing is certain: this will be the biggest Archie Comics story ever!”

I find the idea of a married Archie rather amusing, and wonder if this is just a rumour to up the sales. Handling such a story will be tricky. The whole ploy of Archies Comic stories revolves around this cute love triangle with Betty –> Archie –> Veronica. How would Archie Comic Publications handle this big twist in the tale without losing the reader's interest? The news has already divided the readers who are pouring their opinions on the choice of bride.

Most opinion polls and comments left on the website have suggested Betty as the obvious choice for her unselfish love and adoration for Archie. Majority of readers feel Archie ‘owes’ it to Betty. But don’t forget most stories in Archie end up with Veronica getting Archie, so its quite possible it may happen this way in this story as well. Archie himself seems to be more drawn physically to Veronica and runs off to Betty only for emotional support.

Betty’s parents have never opposed to Archie as her boyfriend unlike Mr. Lodge who simply detests Archie. Will Veronica risk losing her father’s love and temper or will she get impulsive and marry Archie even if that means being disowned by Mr. Lodge? Chances are Reggie will also try to play some dirty tricks to keep Archie from marrying

Will Betty be able to keep Archie away from Veronica and other girls after she marries him? Or will she be outwitted by Veronica?

Or will it have a cliché ending where it is shown as a dream bubble bursting when Betty wakes up.

My best guess is Archie will pick neither Betty nor Veronica, how about the red-haired beauty Cheryl, who has in the past walked away with Archie in the end panels with Betty and Veronica watching helplessly.

Tell me what you think?

“Convert to Christianity, you will get admission”

It seems convent-school education is not just overrated but also a means of propagating forced conversion. My domestic help, Parvathy (name changed) discovered this appalling truth after she approached a local church for a recommendation letter for her son’s admissions in May.

The Father (name withheld) of the church saw the opportunity of influencing a vulnerable Hindu family into ‘embracing’ Christianity on the pretext of ‘allowing’ school admission. “If you want school admission in that school, you and your husband should become Christians,” he said to my domestic help who was asked to approach the Church for a recommendation letter by the school where she wanted her son’s admission.

Parvathy was not only taken aback but was scared to further talk about school admission with anyone from the Church or the school.

The stories of forced conversions are not new across India but I never imagined it would be happening in my neighbourhood right in the middle of a posh locality such as Benson Town. The lone church on Nandidurga Road (Opposite to State Bank of Mysore) stands out for its stone exterior. The church however displays no name board outside it so I really don’t know the name of the church.

This incident has not only rattled my belief in convent school admission system but also my faith in the harmonious existence of Christian Missionaries in Bangalore. Last year there were spurts of violence related to religious conversions being ‘engineered’ by few missionaries and the heat was felt in Mangalore and Bangalore.

It seems like some missionaries have still not refrained from ‘forcing’ people to convert either on the pretext of poverty or school admission and god knows what else. Karnataka is yet to approve an ‘Anti-Conversion’ Law aimed mainly to curb religious conversions made by “force, fraud or allurement.” Such a law has already been adopted in states such as Orissa, Arunachal Pradesh, Tamil Nadu and Gujarat. Human rights groups are however opposed to such laws saying that this could be used by Hindu nationalists to harass Christians. I wonder what Human Rights Groups have to say about this despicable attempt by the Father of this church.

My husband and my mother-in-law have also studied in a Convent school and they couldn’t believe such a barter system existed of exchanging your faith for school education. I reminded them that in their case they were wealthy enough to give donations unlike Parvathy.

This attempt made by the Father of this church only shows how easy it could be to prey on any desperate (SC/ST) Hindu family for conversion. There is plenty of statistics available online on the number of forced conversions across India but I am glad Parvathy didn’t get added to that list. She returned home with her religion and dignity intact and she swears she will never think of Convent education for her sons ever again.

PS: Please do not take this post as a platform to instigate communal disharmony, nor am I against willful conversion. I am reporting a true incident and my comment is restricted to the particular action of this Church. I dont see how or why anyone should get offended on reading this blog. Kindly leave your comments wisely and unemotionally.